Flexiture is not a new a concept: God invented flexible structure when he took a little dust and a lot of creativity to form the first man and woman. In the human body, our bones form the underlying “structure,” and our muscles, cartilage and skin supply flexibility. Without the structure of our bones, we would be one big mass of flesh kind of like jello, and without muscles, cartilage, and skin, we would be stiff as a board. Our bodies need both structure and flexibility to work the way God designed them.
To apply this concept to the family, you need structure in the form of guiding principles, strong standards, and consistent loving discipline. With a child who has ADHD, you also need flexibility to help you and your child successfully and creatively negotiate the ever-changing trials brought on by consistent inconsistency. Both work together to help you help your child. Taken to an extreme, guiding principles and strong standards can result in a rigid form of discipline that can create fundamental chaos in the family. You have to “pick your battles” with the consistently inconsistent child with ADHD. Flexibility allows you to step back and consider how you’re going to keep the chaos and drama in your household to a minimum.
(c) 2009- 2012, Monte W. Davenport, Ph.D.